*wears the same outfit as yesterday* vintage
date me to disappoint your parents
pussy game too strong
Why don’t astronauts just visit the sun at night?
um obviously because it will be too dark to see anything, there’s no point, also because the sun is trying to sleep we wouldn’t want to disturb it
my dog is getting scared of the storm so he’s hiding in the cat basket
YOU’RE NOT A CAT
YOU DON’T EVEN FIT IN IT
*types in /tagged/me after ur url* “page not found”
|—||me whenever I’m home alone (via spicy-vagina-tacos)|
Since Johanna Mason was the only living female victor of 7 for the Quell, I would like to think that when they called up “Ladies first” she just stomped over, grabbed the piece of paper herself and shouted “GEE I WONDER WHO THE FUCK IT COULD BE? HOLY FUCK BALLS IT’S ME I’M SO SHOCKED” and the Peacekeepers have to drag her away from the microphone
I like Hawking.
Being almost completely paralysed has done nothing to diminish his snark.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver - giving Colbert & Stewart a run for their money
there is no context behind this but we all know and it tastes delicious